Why Teens Can Be Fiery and Resistant (and How NOT to Take It Personally)


Video Source: Chakra Boosters Youtube Channel (please subscribe)

It may seem like this week’s video is about teens — and on the surface, it is — but it’s also about my Chakra Life Cycle System and the energies that shape all of our lives up to that ripe age of 21 when we reach full ‘adulthood.’

If you currently have a teen in your life, or if you’ve ever been one (got you there!), watch the video above and learn about the fascinating development of our solar plexus chakra that occurs from ages 15 to 21.

The fire of this cycle may actually arrive a little early, and come in during the second half of the fourteenth year. When it does, your teen will seem to make a 180 degree turn, shifting from the super easy-going energy of the sacral chakra to the active, independent and downright confrontational fire of the solar plexus chakra.

Part of what makes this cycle so startling for parents is that it so greatly contrasts the preceding cycle. From ages 8 to 14, a child is in the watery, second chakra (sacral) cycle that likes to get along with everyone and would rather be led than take the lead.

To navigate this big teenage shift from water to fire, parents need to shift as well. As your offspring vies for more control (age 15 and beyond), you need to let go of the reigns a bit. This allows your youngster to practice, independence, decision-making, and personal empowerment.

In other words, parents, relax a bit, and pick your battles. Ask yourself, what are my absolute non-negotiable rules (the ones related,  for instance to your teen’s safety), and stick with those. Communicate them clearly, but tell your youngster she has flexibility within that structure to make some of her own choices too.

For instance, if you have a midnight curfew on the weekend, she can go to a dance party or the movies, and she can have a friend drive, or borrow the car (if she has a driver’s license), but she needs to be home by midnight.

The more you give your teen choices, and actually ask her opinion (and truly listen to the answers), the more smoothly this period will go, and the more successful your young one will be at building the fire qualities she needs to be a full adult.

My #1 strategy for helping parents to make the most of their teen’s transition into the fire chakra is to tell them to see their child’s ‘disrespectful’ behavior as a sign of respect, because deep down, it actually IS.

I know, weird. But stay with me here.

When teens enter their solar plexus chakra as their 15th birthday approaches, they suddenly feel the need to figure out what they really believe. They are very weary of and resistant of input, especially from people who 1) they respect, and 2) helped them forge their childhood beliefs.

This is because they don’t want to be swayed by others any more — especially those who have influenced them all of their life. They long to figure out what they really think and believe as an independent person and soul.

It’s understandable, right?

So, when they tune you out and/or resist you, it’s actually a sign that they respect you. They love you and know what an influence you have on them, so they don’t even want to hear your side.

But they’ll listen to a bum on the street, because his opinion doesn’t threaten theirs.

Get it?

It may be hard for your mind and heart to wrap around this, but if you can, it changes everything.

I know it changed my relationship with my son (and Godson) and I got the same feedback from many of my clients.

In any case, you can always just put it to the test and see if it works for you.

I’d love to get your feedback too, so if you have experience in this area, please take the time to comment (below) here on my blog, or on my youtube channel.

Love and blessings,


Vicki Howie is an Empath, Life Coach, and Creator of Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos™. Vicki’s a Certified Master Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner, and Registered Yoga Teacher  who can help you tap into your personal roadmap for success – your chakras. Grab your FREE copy of her Chakra Empowerment Course or a FREE copy of her Heart Chakra Healing Song or find out more about her Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos™ here.You can also get her new book “The Key to the Chakras” here. Love and blessings.

1 Comment:

  • Sandy
    October 29, 2017

    Thank you, Vicki. Very validating. I have a 14 year old and 17 year old and have been feeling them big time. The disrespect is exactly what I have been struggling with while working on taking a step back and just help them hold their space. – btw, loved listening to your insights on My Seven Chakras! – Keep spreading your light – Sandy

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