I almost always accompany my blog with a personal video that I shoot myself, but this week, I’m offering something else; something special.
My dear friend, Farhana Dhalla is offering a free webinar on healing the wounds of divorce/break up tomorrow, and as a warm up to that, she has created a lovely video where she reads one of the most authentic, surprising, and touching parts of her international bestselling book, “Thank You For Leaving Me.”
In the video, Farhana explains how illuminating it was for her to take her ex-husband’s perspective in regard to the unraveling of their relationship and his choice to begin an affair.
She doesn’t pussy foot around.
She DIVES in.
She takes his perspective FULLY and paints a most unflattering portrait of the metamorphosis she went through as she struggled with the relationship herself (and I for one could personally relate to those shifts).
What a challenging thing it can be to take the Other’s Perspective – especially when we feel we have been wronged or hurt by that person!
And perhaps, it’s even more difficult to take the Other’s Perspective when we feel we have wronged or hurt them!
Because then we have to admit we have been the aggressor. I truly believe we all want to experience love – to give it and receive it. So it’s tough to take full, unflinching responsibility when we have hurt another.
I know this is something I struggle with now, as I look more closely at my own defensive and/or victimized behaviors and attempt to accept them (not blame myself for them!) and change them at the same time. I’ve learned the hard way that we can’t change what we won’t acknowledge and accept. And we can’t acknowledge or accept our behaviors if we’re going to focus on blaming or shaming ourselves for them.
It’s icky to have to look at our “junk.” But nothing else can liberate us so completely.
I invite you to watch Farhana’s video and be inspired by her authenticity and candor. I dare you to emulate her willingness to look at herself through her ex’s eyes. I think you may find it tough. I think you may find it quite painful. But most of all, I think you’ll find it totally liberating.
Farhana is hosting a free webinar related to her beautiful book. It will help you release any blame or shame you are carrying around regarding a big break up in your life. You can register for the complimentary event here. I know I’ll be there!