4 Simple Ways to Give Yourself Radical Self-Love


We talk a lot about self-love, but talk does nothing. If we are in a relationship where someone says they love us, but then their actions don’t show that love, we don’t feel loved. Our body just doesn’t get it.

The same is true for self-love. In order for it to be healing and nurturing, self-love needs to be fully embodied. We need to feel it.

With that in mind, here are four simple ways that you can make your self-love tangible, embodied and very real:

  1. Do Ho’Oponopono – You can do it every day in just 7 minutes with this simple youtube video I made. I love Ho’Oponopono so much that I’m starting to feel like a meditation “pusher” (like a drug pusher, but much better for you). The simplicity of this incredible technique is why it is so amazing and effective. By utilizing four little phrases that we typically tend to under-use or use rather unconsciously, we can break through some serious blocks, and really forgive ourselves and others.
  2. Notice what you’re seeking from someone else, and give that to yourself – This spiritual “gangsta” idea from Matt Khan is unbelievably basic — and works like a charm! All you have to do is pay attention to what it is you’re looking for outside of yourself (hint: listen to what you’re complaining or upset about with others). Whether it’s respect, patience, attention, love — or something else all together that you need — you can simply give yourself more of that, and you will feel better instantaneously. You are the love you seek.
  3. Create a play date with yourself — and KEEP IT! – This one is a biggie. Don’t under-estimate the radical amount of self-love that can be created when you date yourself! The key here is to make a regular date outside of your normal routine (so going to do your normal gym routine is not a play date), and be sure to show up for yourself. Then, notice what you want to do NOW in the moment, and do that. Most of all, have fun!
  4. Say TPQs (Transformational Power Questions) that bolster your self-love. If you love affirmations and you know they work for you, then you can do those instead. For me, and most of my clients, I find that while affirmations may feel good on the service, in practice, they actually invite a subconscious voice to negate them (especially if you’re affirming something that is really hard to believe). If you want to know more about why affirmations can be bad for you, watch this video. In general, I find it’s usually better to do TPQs. Why? Because when you ask a positive question, your subconscious mind answers in a really positive way. Be sure to always start with “Why.” Here are a few great TPQs for cultivating more radical self-love:
  • Why am I loving myself more every day?
  • Why am I so good at finding new ways to love myself?
  • Why am I more and more lovable all the time?

I hope these four little ideas help you to love yourself more, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a life coach and student of life, it’s that we can only give and receive as much love as we have in our relationship with ourselves.

Love you!


Vicki Howie is the creator of Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos™, the beautiful, easy way to shift your chakra energy (and life!) 24/7. She’s also the host of the weekly Conscious Life Awakened Speaker Series. Sign up for the free series here and experience weekly positive shifts (plus GET 11 Transformational bonuses worth $333). Get a free download of Vicki’s Heart Chakra Song here and expand the love and compassion in your life. xoxo


  • anne kofman
    March 27, 2016

    Love it…& all of these practices..Thanks

  • March 27, 2016

    Hi, Vicki! These are four powerful practices! I’ve never heard of TPQ’s, but I’m going to give them a try. And one day I’ll tell you what happened to me the first time someone told me about Ho’Oponopono. I’ll never forget it.

    What I’d like to do for a play date is be standing where you’re standing in the video! I’ve only been to the Grand Canyon once years ago, but when I walked to the rim and looked over the abyss, I burst into tears for the beauty of it.

    Much love,

  • Vicki
    March 27, 2016

    Hi Barbara,

    One day I’d love to hear your Ho’Oponopono story. I’m holding a space for you to go right were I was in that video, honey. It truly is awe (and tear) inspiring!! Make it happen honey. Until then, let me know what you think of doing TPQs.oxox V-

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