Today, I’m going to share with you one of my most successful life coaching tools. It’s a simple way to shift your language so you stay super open to transformation in any area of your life. Sometimes we want to change, but we get stuck. And one of the ways we get stuck is through using old, disempowering language.
Over my years of working as a life coach and hypnotherapist, I’ve noticed that the type of language my clients use has a lot to do with how much they can personally grow and transform at any given point in time.
You see, the majority of our choices and actions don’t come from our conscious mind, but rather, from our subconscious mind. And our subconscious mind is like an open, eager child. It listens to the content of what we say and simple obeys.
If you say “I’m always late,” “I’m bad at math” or “I’m broke,” your subconscious mind takes those labels in and continues to recreate those identities and tendencies.
Let’s say you have a self identity that says “I’m lousy with money.” You decide to take a course on changing your relationship with money. As part of it, you try to start keeping better track of your finances, but you feel stuck. It’s likely that you are still saying “I’m lousy with money” inside your own mind or even to those around you. Such as, “I’m taking this money course right now, because I’m lousy with money.”
No wonder you’re stuck. How can you do positive things with money when your mind is constantly telling you you’re lousy with money?
If you want to positively shift your habits, it’s essential you develop a more fluid, forward moving way of expressing your tendencies and identity. Your self-talk needs to support your growth and continually invite the possibility of change in every moment.
So, are you ready to shift in a radical way?
Watch the video above and COMMIT 1000% (yes 1000%!) to incorporating these two simple, key phrases into your life:
#1 – “IN THE PAST…”
#2 – “I’VE HAD A TENDENCY TO…”
We all feel a need to tell our stories and identify where we think we are now. That’s okay. As long as we don’t communicate in a way that makes that identity stick more and more until it feels like it’s super glued onto us.
We’ve all had a tendency in the past (notice what I just did) to use disparaging phrases like these:
I can’t cook
I have a horrible memory
I’m out of shape
I hate getting up early
You never listen
You’re not dependable
You never help me with…
If we chose to, we can shift any of these qualities through personal development. Unfortunately, expressing them in a rigid, absolute way undermines our desire and ability to commit to changing them and to recognizing when we’re actually improving.
So start using “in the past…”.
When you use it, you’re simply telling the truth, because everything you’ve ever done is in the past. This means, you have a genuine opportunity in every single moment to make a new choice and to do something different; something more empowered NOW.
So when identifying something you see as a “negative” quality or habit, put it in the past by simply saying, “In the past… “ And do the same for others, especially significant others, so you don’t put rigid labels on them and you give them more room and support to grow.
Try it out now by picking a habit you’d like to shift and then complete this sentence, “In the past…”
Notice how this phrase softens and loosens your ego’s hold on the quality or habit. If you’re conscious mind jumps in with, but it’s not “in the past” I’m still that way now, then simply ask yourself “Am I really the same? Or am I in process?” Since you’re already working on shifting it, you’re already changing and that old habit truly is in the past, even if that past was 10 seconds ago!
Changing a negative habit is like taking off a pair of tightly-laced tennis shoes. First you have to loosen the strings, then you can take off the shoes. If you try to take off your shoes before you loosen the strings, it can be lead to unnecessary frustration. These two phrases loosen the “strings” in your mind significantly.
In fact, when you say “in the past…” you are actually insinuating that things have already changed and are in the process of changing. That’s very empowering!
The second phrase you want to incorporate is “had a tendency.”
Can you feel how much those words loosen a label’s grip?
“I’m totally disorganized!” vs. “In the past, I’ve had a tendency to not be too organized.”
Both these phrases are describing the same objective reality, but the second one has a totally different effect on both your subconscious and conscious mind.
I promise you these two simple phrases are game changers. If you don’t believe me, then take my 30-day challenge. Write down both of these phrases on about ten pieces of paper and put them up everywhere you typically look – on the bathroom mirror, hanging from the car rearview mirror, in the kitchen where you stand to cook or wash the dishes, on your computer, etc.
Tell a couple friends you’re going to practice saying these two empowering phrases and that you want them to fine you $1 every time you say a negative “I” statement in the old way – in the present tense and all encompassing.
Hopefully, by the end of the month, you’ll have turned these two powerful phrases into a habit and you’ll be feeling much more open to and confident in your ability to grow in any area you choose.
As a footnote, my Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos are another great way to work directly with your subconscious through your body. They’re based on the work of Japanese Researcher, Masaru Emoto that shows that words placed on water change the molecular structure of water. Read all about my powerful healing tattoos here.
Vicki Howie, MA, CHt is an International Life Coach, Certified Master Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner who can help you create the life of your dreams. She offers very affordable rates to first time clients with her Quick Start Package.