Warning: This post unmasks a fallacy we have about personal transformation.
That fallacy is that personal expansion is a process that is positive, upward, linear and rosy. It’s the belief that when we grow and “get it together,” we no longer vacillate, doubt, contract, or fear.
Now, I know most of us don’t really, literally belief this. We have a wiser part of us that is aware there will always be ups and downs. Still, there is a subtle, pervasive assumption that more personal growth means we should “have it all together” or that we are somehow past certain feelings and experiences (oh, the wealth I would have if I only had a quarter for every time a client said, “I should be over this” or “I thought I’d dealt with this.”).
We have a cultural belief that personal growth has a certain predictable, linear quality to it; that we can move through certain experiences, check them off our growth list and never see them again. This leads us to believe that things are going to get easier as we grow. Feel free to insert a big belly laugh here, because this just isn’t the case.
Obviously, I can’t speak for all of mankind, but I can certainly write about my experience and those of my friends, family and clients. And what I’m seeing is that the vacillations and challenges actually get bigger as we expand our energetic field and true personal power. I like to think that God/Life has a great sense of humor and knows that as we grow, we’re looking to surf bigger (not smaller) waves. That’s what good surfers do, right?
Yes, our feelings of inner peace, love and knowing also expand as we grow. But the point is, it’s a ride – a full-bodied pulsing experience of contractions and expansions, not a check list. And only when we allow our body to truly feel the ups and downs that are part of living in this physical world, can we be fully, authentically present.
Life is pulsing and so are we. In the yoga, we call this pulsation “spanda” – the creative pulsation of life; the dynamism of god consciousness as it expresses itself in this phenomenal world.
In every cycle of breath, there is an elegant duality – an inhale and an exhale. The seasons cycle in stunning opposition, flipping from winter to summer, and spring to fall every half year.
When you think about it, our entire life is one big, full-bodied pulsation as we start in the womb of our mother in fetal position, develop into a fully upright adult at some point, and then get older, and start curling back into a fetal type position again. Eventually, of course, we return to the womb of the earth, even if we choose do so as ashes.
It’s really quite amazing and elegant. And for me, it’s comforting to know, but not necessarily comforting to experience. The problem for those of us that are not big fans of feeling contracted (who is?!) is that every time we grow and expand mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we first experience contraction and/or fear; a state I like to call “crunchiness.” It’s natural. It’s part of the pulsation. But our assumptions about what expansion “should” look like often stops us from being authentically present to what we are really experiencing.
The video in this post is about this process and how you can reframe your periods of fear and contraction so they can give you more trust, courage and determination on your path. In it, I refer to the way women birth.
When women birth, they give us a great model for birthing anything — an idea, a business, or even a more expanded version of ourselves. Check out the video above and learn the one thing almost all women do when they’re done contracting and dialating and ready to push — that is, when they’ve finished the hardest part of the birthing. It will make you rethink the your next big contraction.
Please let me know your experience in the comments section below. I love hearing from you. You teach me so much!
Love, joy, blessings,
p.s. I can work with you personally anywhere in the world via Skype (don’t you just love modern technology?!!). Give yourself the gift of getting your first session with me at half off (just use coupon code: wholenesshalfoff when you purchase a 30 min. or 90 mins. session). I want to help you spread your wings and fly!