Okay… big confession… yesterday, I cried in the Apple Store. That’s Apple with a capital A – as in shiny computers, not Granny Smiths. I cried because the geniuses (the great name for the guys who figure out any problems in the Apple world) had advised me to come in to delete everything on my computer and “start over again.”
It felt like a mini-death.
Would all my old files come back?
Would I be able to navigate my way through this maze of transferring information or would I get lost in some technological purgatory?
As I started to talk to the new genius about what the previous genius (the one who made my appointment) had told me to do, I could feel the liquid begin to well up in my eyes.
Really? I thought incredulously to myself. I’m going to cry? Here? In the Apple Store? About my COMPUTER?!
Apparently yes. I was.
And that’s exactly what happened, much to the surprise of the new genius, who was clearly more comfortable with my hard drive and software, than with my emotional outpouring.
I suppose I could blame my emotionalism on the full moon, but honestly, I think it was almost completely about my impending “computer death” and all my unknowingness and insecurity around it.
Tears or no tears, I was going to move forward!
And then…
To my surprise, the new genius quickly and easily found a way to fix my computer problem without deleting anything. They say the “squeaky wheel gets the oil.” I suppose the teary-eyed one does too.
Isn’t it amazing how often the “boogie man” disappears when we actually look under the bed?
The whole process felt cathartic. But if I hadn’t stepped into the store, I wouldn’t have experienced a mini-breakthrough.
And yes, a mini-breakthrough is often preceded by something that feels like a mini-breakdown.
It’s okay. Just know that going in.
Death always comes before birth. Life moves in cycles. And at any moment we can get paralyzed by fear, or take small, courageous steps toward a breakthough.
I believe that when we feel fear – and the numbness, shakiness or tears that come with it – we are actually being invited to step forward in spite of our fear.
It’s a glorious invitation to “feel the fear and do it anyway.”
And when you take that invitation and step forward, you move into the juicy, adventurous side of life.